Thursday, July 13, 2017

"I Wanna Get Better"

Life is some crazy shit sometimes.

Since my last post I have begun treatment for CPTSD, which has been eye-opening, affirming, and at times incredibly difficult.  On the positive side, I am learning about emotional flashbacks, my personal triggers, and strategies that help to manage the challenges of living with past trauma.  Not surprisingly, the process of digging into my past has been like picking a scab, or re-breaking a limb.  This week I became so overwhelmed that my therapist suggested I take a week off.  I may have been trying to process too much too quickly, to the point where I was being re-traumatized.  As a result, the first three days of this week were extremely difficult to get through.

Over the past few months I have also been undergoing daily TMS sessions.  TMS stands for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, a relatively new form of treatment for folks like myself who have not responded to traditional therapies (i.e. medicine). As of this writing I've had 38 sessions, and have seen improvement.  My hope is that my continued therapy, combined with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) will provide relief and a chance at a "normal" life, or at least a new normal that includes a happier version of me.

I have chosen, for the time being, to not be employed.  I want to be at my best (whatever that looks like) before I dive back into the working world.  I will probably seek part-time work, at least to start.  I thank God that my husband is working and is supportive of all I am doing to achieve wellness.  The academic in me has been writing about the process.  Organizing the past fifty years into chapters, sub-sections, etc. has been a helpful way for me to understand the role that trauma has played in my life as someone living with Complex PTSD.

I realize that I am in the eye of the hurricane right now.  My life is in transition, and I can only guess how things will be when the next phase begins.  I definitely have a new appreciation for the term "blind faith"!   I'm living through it, though - and right now, today, I am OK.

Thx for reading.  PEACE.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

RSD 2017

My 2017 RSD want list
Yesterday was the 10th annual Record Store Day. The hubs and I ventured out to just two stores and we had a downright festive time. The sun was shining, making it a beautiful day for standing outdoors, in line with other record enthusiasts (aka nerds).  The RSD gods must have been smiling on us, because after only a few hours I went home with everything on my list (I don't think I've achieved this feat once over the past decade).

It's been a thrill to witness the re-birth of vinyl over the past 10-15 years.  One thing that I am sure of is that none of this would have been possible without the existence of brick & mortar stores, which will always be the cultural epicenter for experiencing recorded music.  Let's keep our indie record stores alive!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Hello, 2017

Was surprised to learn that I've not posted an entry here in nearly three months.  Long time no see.  Hope you are all well.

A quick recap of what's been happening, for anyone interested:

  • My interim Program Director position at my Alma Mater ended two months ago.  So, I am currently on the market again.  
  • I've been wrestling with depression and anxiety (again) for the past few months.  The good news is that my quest for answers (and the help of a fantastic therapist) has led to a diagnosis of Complex PTSD.   The more that I learn about C-PTSD, the more I grow to understand most of my adult life.  This gift of sense-making has been life changing.  There's lots of work ahead, but if all of the empirical research on this condition is true, my efforts will result in a much happier existence.   
  • I learned just last week that my band WORDS has been chosen with 24 other bands to be featured on a super cool Monkees Tribute disc that is coming out soon by the equally cool 7a Records (see artwork below).  All proceeds from the CD and digital download will go to the Davy Jones Equine Memorial Foundation
    Listen to the Bands: The Ultimate Monkees Tribute Album (2017)
  • WORDS are also working on a track for an upcoming tribute to The Knack, which is being produced by Zero Hour Records.  I'll post more about this (and the Monkees disc) as their release dates approach.  Once these tributes are completed I'm hoping that the band can get started on recording one or two of the original songs we've got stockpiled.  
I know there is more that I could write, but I think this is enough for today.  

PEACE
Jeff